Fatal Frame 2 - Crimson Butterfly is out. "There is a village said to have once stood in a forest deep in the mountains. This forest will soon be lost due to the creation of a dam. The story goes that on the eve of a special ritual, this village suddenly vanished, and its population disappeared. This ritual went horribly wrong, leaving the forest wreathed in a thick fog. Many also say that if you should happen to get lost in this forest, you will be spirited away to the village. The village where the Crimson Butterflies dance, the village held forever in the grip of a never-ending night..." I hope it's as terrifying as the first one. Also, has anybody noticed that Senator John Kerry looks like Dr. Carl Hill from the Reanimator movies? "I must say, Dr. Hill, I'm VERY disappointed in you. You steal the secret of life and death, and here you are trysting with a bubble-headed coed. You're not even a second-rate scientist!"

Henry Rollins: Spoken Word @ Lisner Auditorium 1/29

1.20.04

Holy crap! Henry Rollins: Spoken Word Lisner Auditorium 01/29/04 08:00 PM - 10:00 PM Thursday, January 29, 8pm Tickets: $22.50 Available at the Lisner Auditorium Box Office, TicketMaster Outlets and PhoneCharge (301) 808-6900. GW Students: Limited $20 tickets available at the Lisner Box Office Now if only Ticketmaster wasn't gouging people $7.80 a goddamned ticket. What Is Your Battle Cry? Yea, verily: Who is that, skulking over the mountains! It is Rogue, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with a vengeful scream, her voice cometh: "I'm going to beat you for such a long time, you will not be able to see straight!!!" Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ? created by beatings : powered by monkeys Although, I like this one better: Rampaging on the terrain, carrying a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Jhada! And she gives a cruel howl: "I'm going to fuck you like a wrecking ball, and throw you out the airplane door!!"

Squirrel of d00m

1.19.04

"Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing."

1.18.04

I started modifying and adding to the story that I've been writing since 1999. Hours of sitting and typing away on a computer have atrophied my legs and arms, so it's time to take a break. I'd be happy to hear commentary and critique about it, if anybody wants to take the time to read what I've written so far.

And the hits just keep on comin...

1.16.04

Apparently, one of the guys at work has a friend at a help desk that, earlier in the day, received a call about a woman that had a problem with her printer. His friend asked her if she was running windows, and she adroitly responded with, "My desk is next to the door, but that is a good point, the guy in the cube next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

Terror-o-rama

1.16.04

Movies that have scared the hell out of me: Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971) - Every time this movie comes on, I have to turn the channel. The music is enough to make my skin crawl. I used to have savage nightmares about this when I was a kid. Anguish (1987) - this movie freaked me out so badly that I ended up outside the house scraping my knuckles bloody on the sidewalk and crying hysterically less than a half an hour into the movie. It was made in spain, so that probably explains why it freaked me right the fuck out so much. Usually it's Italian cinema that has me shaking and crying. Trilogy of Terror (1975) - The little fetish doll always flipped me right the hell out. Evil Dead Trap (1988) - A really twisted little vignette featuring a really gruesome snuff sequence at the beginning. The Evil Dead (1982) - Even though this has turned out a hilarious set of sequels, the original - although really dorky at places - scared the hell out of me. Amityville Horror (1979) - I have one word. Jody. Of course, it goes without saying that almost anything from Italy, especially Dario Argento, is especially terrifying.

These are a few of my favorite things

1.16.04

EVIL DEAD THE MUSICAL!! 1 *AND* 2! With a scene lineup like this: Act ONE 1) Cabin in the woods - Ash, Linda, Cheryl, Shelly and Scott 2) Housewares Employee - Ash and Linda 3) It Won't Let Us Leave - Cheryl 4) Look Who's Evil Now - Cheryl and Shelly 5) What the Fuck Was That? - Ash, Scott and Cheryl 6) Join Us - Cheryl and Candarian Demon Moose 7) Good Old Reliable Jake - Jake 8) I am Not a Killer - Ash Act Two 1) I am Not a Killer (Rerise) - Ash 2) Bit Part Demon (The Fake Shemp Song) - Ed 3) All the Men in My Life (Keep Getting Killed by Candarian Demons) - Annie 4) Necronomadrigal - Zombie Ensemble 5) Do the Necronomicon - Zombie Ensemble 6) It's Time - Ash and Zombie Ensemble 7) Hail to the King - Full Cast How can you possibly lose?!? They even have a forum. I can die happy now.

The origin of spam

1.15.04

Sp@m: the myst.eries xp1ained!!!

Science marches on

1.13.04

Thank god. I can now sleep soundly at night knowing that there might possibly be a laser out there that's been created for the sole purpose of cutting festive patterns in cheese. For kids. "It seems that there’s no end to the type of materials that scientists will consider cutting with a laser. Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in the US astonished delegates at the recent ICALEO show in Florida when they announced that they had machined cheese into intricate shapes with a Q-switched Nd:YAG."

Finance Uber Alles

1.8.04

Bush Grabs New Power for FBI By Kim Zetter - wired.com 02:00 AM Jan. 06, 2004 PT While the nation was distracted last month by images of Saddam Hussein's spider hole and dental exam, President George W. Bush quietly signed into law a new bill that gives the FBI increased surveillance powers and dramatically expands the reach of the USA Patriot Act. The Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2004 grants the FBI unprecedented power to obtain records from financial institutions without requiring permission from a judge. Under the law, the FBI does not need to seek a court order to access such records, nor does it need to prove just cause. Previously, under the Patriot Act, the FBI had to submit subpoena requests to a federal judge. Intelligence agencies and the Treasury Department, however, could obtain some financial data from banks, credit unions and other financial institutions without a court order or grand jury subpoena if they had the approval of a senior government official. The new law (see Section 374 of the act), however, lets the FBI acquire these records through an administrative procedure whereby an FBI field agent simply drafts a so-called national security letter stating the information is relevant to a national security investigation. And the law broadens the definition of "financial institution" to include such businesses as insurance companies, travel agencies, real estate agents, stockbrokers, the U.S. Postal Service and even jewelry stores, casinos and car dealerships. The law also prohibits subpoenaed businesses from revealing to anyone, including customers who may be under investigation, that the government has requested records of their transactions. Full story here

The Insanity Test

1.7.04

(1) Turn on the Speakers and allow the page to load fully (2) Stare at the Picture without laughing for 60 seconds (3) If you start laughing consider yourself legally insane

Ah, vacation...

1.5.04

Going to a funeral was a strangely fitting way to kick in the end of the year vacation. After flying out to San Francisco for my friend's funeral, I then jetted back here (plane tickets for Las Vegas had already been purchased in Sept), then jetted out to Las freakin Vegas. Stayed at Treasure Island - the new show, pirates versus scantily clad sirens dancing like bad Paula Abdul ripoffs, was disappointing due to the lack of unclad breasts. Ah well. Onward to the Elvis-a-Rama museum behind the hotel, where we saw a very hot Elvis impersonator with a hell of a voice croon in the black leather outfit and the high blue-black pompadour. Also went on the 'Star Trek Experience' where the ride came close to making me throw up. There was, however, a very nice klingon that kept circling our table afterwards. I regaled him with tales of killing people with butter knives and introducing him to blunt force trauma wounds that could be made with such an implement of tiny destruction. Chief and I would then sigh happily, grinning at the view presented as he would stroll away to find other tourists more boring than ourselves to chat up. A fine time was had by all. As an aside, here are two of the most romantic songs I've ever heard. Are you lonesome tonight? Is your kitchen a sight? Is your wardrobe all rundown and bare? Is your lipstick all smeared? Are your stockings not sheer? Do they make your legs show all your hair? Do the tears on your pillow roll down as you turn? Do they short out the blanket and make the sheets burn? Is your heart filled with pain? Will you come back again? Shop at Macy's and love me tonight I'm picking out a thermos for you not an ordinary thermos will do but the very best thermos you can buy with vinyl and sidestripes and a cup built right in I'm picking out a thermos for you and maybe a barometer too and the last thing I will buy so on me you can rely a rear end thermometer too Well...Wierd Al's ballads kinda go without saying.