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Look you, upon the face of evil! My Big Gay Sinister Roommate. Sure...he looks all cuddly and harmless here, but I assure you, he is PURE EVIL.

When I originally met him 13 years ago, I had no idea what vile darkness lurked beneath his benign gay exterior. He just seemed like a bundle of angry love...harsh reality has changed him, and I'm beginning to believe that he's made a pact with the devil...or one of them. You may not be able to see it, but the word SODOMITE is written on his baseball

cap...as Jerry Falwell has taught us, this is EVIL! Although I never really had anything against anal sex, it appears that this is indeed an indicator of a truly disturbed person. The fact that he's gay has nothing to do with the fact that he's evil, but I thought I'd throw it in to season the waters.

Is, of course, none other than "Chief"...my Big Gay Sinister Roommate (hereafter referred to as MBGSR). I always thought we were the best of friends, until one day I found sinister sketches in his room that led me to believe that he was plotting to kill me. His clever facade of kindness and caring had me fooled completely for years...but now I'm beginning to suspect the truth...

His pawn of evil, or "familiar", is Shadara...a truly devious, lurking animal that conveniently covers everything I own in a fine white mist of hair. A cloud of EVIL I say! The damn stuff NEVER comes out...even after repeated washes! It can only be part of his dastardly plan to destroy me and all that I hold dear.

I am beginning to suspect that other members of his family are against me as well...of this I cannot be sure, but make no mistake! I will find out the entire truth...even if I have to tear this house apart to find all the evidence against him.

Look you, on the face of the direct blood relation of evil!

This is MBGSR's brother, Kangal...Sure, he's holding a cute, fluffy bunny, and is adored by the industrial/goth community at large for DJ-ing in a most swell and benevolent manner, but don't let this fool you! He is nothing but PURE EVIL. If nothing else, by association with the vile meatbag that is My Big Gay Sinister Roommate. I've had my doubts about his so called "friendship" since MBGSR started leaving all those little scribbled plots around the apartment. I can only assume at this point, that he is in cahouts with his brother in his dastardly plan to do me in. After all, the saying goes "Blood is thicker than water" and the blood of evil is the thickest of all...

I shall look forward to meeting him on the field of the battle of our wits. It will be a shame to destroy him, since I've known him for what seems like forever. Maybe he and MBGSR have just gotten sick of my friendship over the years. Only time will tell...

 

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