For a time, it seems 
I was caught up 
in my grief 
and anger 
for the joys 
I had yet to experience 
the love 
I had yet to find 

Years passed 
and I realized 
the sickness 
and sadness 
came from the anger 
held so tightly 
in my heart and soul 

Finding no outlet
I'd brood alone 
spiraling deeper 
scaring myself 
and my loved ones 

They just don't understand me 
I kept saying 
like a mantra 
to keep from letting it all go 

Then, one day 
I heard a voice 
deep inside 
say that it was tired 
of being angry 
sick 
and sad 

It told me 
that all I had to do 
was just let go 
of the anger 
the shame 
the pain 
and I cried out in anguish 
because I realized 
that a part of me 
needed to hate 
needed to brood 

And as I came to the edge of
reason and understanding 
knowing what needed to be done 
I stepped out 
and let go... 

The howling shrieking thing 
that came from 
what seemed to be 
the bowels of my soul 
scratched and burned 
screeching it's way 
through my heart 
as I finally let it go 
knowing that I was ready 
to be happy
free from the cell
anger kept me trapped within 

And even though 
my throat is still sore 
my muscles still ache 
I notice that all of a sudden 
the rest of the world
is waiting for me 
to dip my feet 
in it's rushing waters 
calling me to action 
letting me know 
that it's ok 
to be different 
and happy 
and loved... 

Copyright 1997 by Rogue 

FICTION:

Jhada and Argent || The Model and the Mad Scientist || Gabriel || An Unlikely Pairing || The Worst Porno Story Ever

POETRY:

No Longer Angry || Depression || Run with the Moon || Love is a Virus || BloodDance || Diamanda || Murderer || The Watcher || Confusion || Dream || Romeo is Bleeding || Cribdeath || HoPeLeSs || Soulmate || Darling || Illuminate || Madness || Insecurity || Fear || Angel || The Job || Pathetic || Shard of Hate || Thin || Departure of Friends || Empty Life || Kindred Spirit || Why Bother? || Loss of Control || Lonely Girl || Loss of a Dream || Damaged || Done || Excision  || Missing You || Jhada|| Hope ||  Reflection ||  History Repeating

TIRADES:

Sucky Movies || Relationships || Marriage || Shortcomings || Parents || Monstrous Brats || Barbie's Newest Trauma || Babies in Trashcans || Religion || Listening || Public Facilities || Choices...Grieving || Legalize Prostitution ||  Sports VS Public Service || Y2K || Abortion || To Buffy, or not to Buffy? || Enough with the HATE Already! || Christmas || Valentine's Day || Love in the 90's || The Big Trenchcoat Freakout || Keeping Up Appearances || Presidential Scourge|| Legislating Safety || Anti-drug commercials || Dating || Annoying Anonymity || America West || The Great Bug Debacle