I want so much 
to be his entirely 
to stay with him 
forever 

And yet 
there is a cry 
that rises from my heart 
that shouts NO! 
this will not stand 

No sincerity 
no consideration 
no feeling 
does he show 
unless he gets 
exactly what he wants 

It is a precious thing 
he ladles out sparingly 
insuring 
that I always 
come back for more 

And so 
I find myself at war 
with the love 
and the confusion 
in my heart and soul 

How do I resolve 
such a painful need 
to love 
to be loved 
and cherished 

It is not to be 
with this one I fear 
as I sit 
and quietly fall 
deeper into madness 

Copyright 1997 Rogue 
 

FICTION:

Jhada and Argent || The Model and the Mad Scientist || Gabriel || An Unlikely Pairing || The Worst Porno Story Ever

POETRY:

No Longer Angry || Depression || Run with the Moon || Love is a Virus || BloodDance || Diamanda || Murderer || The Watcher || Confusion || Dream || Romeo is Bleeding || Cribdeath || HoPeLeSs || Soulmate || Darling || Illuminate || Madness || Insecurity || Fear || Angel || The Job || Pathetic || Shard of Hate || Thin || Departure of Friends || Empty Life || Kindred Spirit || Why Bother? || Loss of Control || Lonely Girl || Loss of a Dream || Damaged || Done|| Excision  || Missing You || Jhada|| Hope ||  Reflection ||  History Repeating

TIRADES:

Sucky Movies || Relationships || Marriage || Shortcomings || Parents || Monstrous Brats || Barbie's Newest Trauma || Babies in Trashcans || Religion || Listening || Public Facilities || Choices...Grieving || Legalize Prostitution ||  Sports VS Public Service || Y2K || Abortion || To Buffy, or not to Buffy? || Enough with the HATE Already! || Christmas || Valentine's Day || Love in the 90's || The Big Trenchcoat Freakout || Keeping Up Appearances || Presidential Scourge|| Legislating Safety || Anti-drug commercials || Dating || Annoying Anonymity || America West || The Great Bug Debacle