In what seems like a fairly obvious bitter state of mind, I poured bile and venom out by the bucketload pretty much the entire time I was writing this. Looking back on it now (now being December 22nd, 2002) I am extremely happy that I was able to let somebody else in.
 

Added 1.16.00

My heart is cold
hard and empty 
no longer brittle 
and easily fooled 

As I wrap myself 
in this cloak of forgetfulness 
I take one more look 
outside at the world 
to see everything 
I'll be missing 
by cutting off like this 

No more will I be easily swayed
by the eyes 
and the soft, sweet words 
of another
for I have closed my heart
to anybody
that wishes to bang 
upon its doors 

No more 
accepting hurt 
pain 
grief 
or joy 
I no longer care 
to be held by another 

All I see is red 
and the grating, growling noises
inside my soul 
now keep me from hearing the lies 
and deceptions 
of those that want to be near me 
if only for a moment 
to steal 
some part of my flame 
my love 
my heart 
only to throw it carelessly 
back at my feet
when they're done with it 

I am vengeance 
and anger 
and the killing blow of passion 
and anyone who comes against me 
in deception and 'false love' 
shall be laid low 
by the ice cold shards
that now fly from my soul 

This being done 
by my own hand 
my own stupidity 
and lack of judgement 
I have chosen poorly 
who to bring 
close to my heart 

I would rather be alone 
than listen to the 
sickly sweet, rotting lies of another 
telling me they've never met 
anybody like me before
and 
You make me feel so alive, 
so different when I'm with you 

Empty sentiments 
expressed by a weak soul 
capable of nothing more 
than utter fealty 
to that which they call love 

When it is only a shadow 
a ripple in the wind 
that quickly passes by 
for young eager fools 
to attach their hearts to 

The cycle is complete now
all those years of 
hoping
and desiring
the presence of a mate
someone for me to love
have ended in pitous looks
and shattered dreams
pounded daily into my psyche

The cloak settles
firmly on my shoulders
keeping me from harm
as it closes out the world

And my mind ripples
with the delicious anticipation
of all that I can accomplish
now that I am no longer
love's bitch

Say goodnight...

IT SHALL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. 

Copyright 2000 Rogue 

FICTION:

Jhada and Argent || The Model and the Mad Scientist || Gabriel || An Unlikely Pairing || The Worst Porno Story Ever

POETRY:

No Longer Angry || Depression || Run with the Moon || Love is a Virus || BloodDance || Diamanda || Murderer || The Watcher || Confusion || Dream || Romeo is Bleeding || Cribdeath || HoPeLeSs || Soulmate || Darling || Illuminate || Madness || Insecurity || Fear || Angel || The Job || Pathetic || Shard of Hate || Thin || Departure of Friends || Empty Life || Kindred Spirit || Why Bother? || Loss of Control || Lonely Girl || Loss of a Dream || Damaged || Done || Excision  || Missing You || Jhada|| Hope ||  Reflection ||  History Repeating

TIRADES:

Sucky Movies || Relationships || Marriage || Shortcomings || Parents || Monstrous Brats || Barbie's Newest Trauma || Babies in Trashcans || Religion || Listening || Public Facilities || Choices...Grieving || Legalize Prostitution ||  Sports VS Public Service || Y2K || Abortion || To Buffy, or not to Buffy? || Enough with the HATE Already! || Christmas || Valentine's Day || Love in the 90's || The Big Trenchcoat Freakout || Keeping Up Appearances || Presidential Scourge|| Legislating Safety || Anti-drug commercials || Dating || Annoying Anonymity || America West || The Great Bug Debacle