I was really looking forward to flying first class, round trip, straight through. I had never done it before. That, and I was going to Las Vegas, my vacation dreamland...The flight out was pleasant enough, no real problems, and I was looking forward to the same on the way back. Alas, it was not meant to be. My good friend and I arrived at the airport two hours before our flight was scheduled to leave. One would assume that this would've been good enough. HAH! Not if the flight has been cancelled, and the airline hasn't called to notify us about it. I should've known that we were in for a hellish time when we found ourselves at the counter in front of this asshole that had left his bags at the beginning of the roped off section. 

He bitched halfway under his breath to the guy next to him about us cutting in front of him, when he CLEARLY had his bags strategically positioned in line even though he was nowhere to be seen when we walked up. We turn around, and calmly say that if he's been waiting, he's welcome to go ahead. What the hell, right? We're early, we think. We stand at the counter, waiting behind this extremely agitated guy who's apparently been waiting for quite some time to get service from the *TRAINEES* they have manning the First Class counter. During this wait time, we overhear that the Phoenix hub has been shut down for some reason, I think it was inclement weather, and this was causing TONS of people much distress and flight bumpage. But hey...that's not gonna affect our flight because we have a straight shot to BWI, right? You'd think so, wouldn't you? When we got to the counter, we were then told that our flight had been cancelled, but there might be another one that they could put us on that was leaving in about 40 minutes. During *this* wait time, we sit patiently while the trainee helping us gets completely mired in not knowing at all what the hell she's doing. She keeps trying to get the attention of her upper peers, but they're busy helping other people that are pissed off that they're getting bumped. Christ. What a circus. Once her supervisor comes over to help, we find out that the flight that now leaves in 20 minutes is on American Airlines, which they then give us tickets to and wish us good luck, and we bolt through the concourse to the American Airlines counter. Once there, we're told that they're not sure that they can get us on the plane, then they say that they're positive that they can't get us on this plane, so we go back to the America West counter. They try to be as helpful as they can, but the next flight out hits Phoenix, then goes to our destination. We decide to take it. It's supposed to leave around 4pm, our original depart time. We think, may be things are looking up. We wait, then board the plane...sure, we're agitated because at least 5 times we've been asked if we're sure that we're in First Class because of our appearance, but we try not to let that get to us. The flight is relatively uneventful, and when we get to Phoenix, we find that the flight we're supposed to go out on is one gate away from the gate we arrive at. "Finally! A break!" we think. Alas, fate (or it's relatively distant bastard cousin, America West) seems destined to kick us in the soft wobbly bits again. 

We get on the plane, and First Class is FULL. Swell. Some smarmy attendant comes up to us and tells us that he's going to figure out what's going on, then after we've waited in the galley of the plane with everybody in First Class staring at us like we have two heads, he comes back, and starts explaining what happened. Apparently, since we didn't show up on the roster as being in the seats that were obviously occupied by somebody that was not us, they decided to fill the seats with somebody else. But wait, it gets better. He then tells us, with a halfhearted look that could possibly pass for apologetic, that the only thing they can do for us is to put us in coach. At this point, my friend states that this is unacceptable, since he's paid 1700 per ticket, and he's damned if he's going to fly in coach for that amount of money. I, of course, heartily agree. He then tells us that we're probably going to have to get on another flight. Bump number two. We go back to the counter, where they say, "So, you were bumped up to first class?" To which my friend responds that he purchased FIRST CLASS tickets several months in advance. At that point, the counter lady becomes a little more receptive. Alas, the next flight out of Phoenix is at 11:45 that night. It is now currently around 7pm. We're now at the 5 hour mark, and we've only been on a one hour flight. But wait, it gets better. 

The magical boarding time arrives, and we board the plane. We come to find that our seats are the ONLY seats in First Class without a screen. I ask the Flight Attendant, who gives us a sour look, if there's an in-flight movie, and it turns out that there is. We inform him that there's no screen at our location, and his rather flippant response is "Oh wow...I guess you don't.". My friend then says to him "So...since this particular First Class accommodation isn't being afforded to us, how can we expect to be compensated?" He gaily responds with another flippant comment, "Umm...I don't know...getting from point a to point b?" and smiles at us blankly. It is at this point, that I sense a break in my friend's easygoing nature. He tells the steward that this is unacceptable, and tells the annoying twit that he would like to talk to his supervisor. The steward flits away, and this extremely insensitive philistine of a person comes up to us, and after hearing the entire sordid story, tells us that there's nothing he can do. At this point, America West apparently can't be held accountable for this sitation, he says. My friend goes on to state that he will accept nothing less than AT LEAST a free First Class ticket to anywhere in the Continental United States. The supervisor says that he can't do that, and that my friend would have to call the business offices of America West to work this out. Now, I can understand his reasoning for telling us this, but the way he did it was as if we didn't matter as customers. His attitude was extremely offensive, and instead of diffusing the situation by being at least falsely apologetic, he exacerbated things by being argumentative and raising his voice. My friend asked if there was a supervisor above him that he could talk to, and was effectively told, in a rather nasty manner, that 'This is not going any further." he then restated that my friend would have to call the business offices to resolve this issue. He offered to get an address and a phone number, then curtly walked away. 

At this point, my friend had had enough. To let off steam, he punched the wall in front of him, which then immediately calmed him down. A couple of minutes went by, then the supervisor comes by and tells him to 'Please come with me...And please get your bags'. "Great...He's getting kicked off the plane" I think to myself. Which is indeed what turns out to be the case. I don't see my friend again. The supervisor comes back to inform me, rather brusquely, that he will not be allowed back on this flight. He says this, and looks at me as if I'm going to cause a scene and get myself thrown off the plane as well. When I respond calmly, he goes away. The steward, who my friend apparently scared to death, seemed like he was trying really hard to be pleasant to me, but it was so forced, that I was really happy that I was so out of it that by that time I didn't really notice it. The only good part of this excursion through the ninth circle of hell, which is apparently peopled entirely with America West flight attendants and upper management, is that I got to sit by this great lady that patiently listened to our collective tale of woe, and was very sympathetic. She was great, and I hugged her after we had departed the plane. I got to BWI airport at about 6am that morning. A friend of mine met me at the airport, and we were able to pick up the luggage that had been sitting unattended in the claims area since about midnight. At least it was still there. Got the luggage, then called my friend, and found out that after kicking him off the plane, they put him up in a hotel until his next flight left, which was supposed to be around 5 or so. He still hadn't gotten on it. He didn't arrive until 3 that afternoon. To restate the phrase my friend used "What was supposed to be a 5 hour direct flight from Las Vegas to BWI ended up being 5 different planes from 2 in the afternoon on Monday to 3 in the afternoon on Tuesday, landing at National airport.". Ain't that a kick in the pants. Wow...I *almost* had more fun than the time I had just gotten out of surgical tubal ligation and was screaming at the nurse to give me some damn drugs for the pain. At least they didn't poke me in the eye with a sharp stick...

Moral: (as if this wasn't already painfully obvious) DON'T FLY AMERICA WEST

FICTION:

Jhada and Argent || The Model and the Mad Scientist || Gabriel || An Unlikely Pairing || The Worst Porno Story Ever

POETRY:

No Longer Angry || Depression || Run with the Moon || Love is a Virus || BloodDance || Diamanda || Murderer || The Watcher || Confusion || Dream || Romeo is Bleeding || Cribdeath || HoPeLeSs || Soulmate || Darling || Illuminate || Madness || Insecurity || Fear || Angel || The Job || Pathetic || Shard of Hate || Thin || Departure of Friends || Empty Life || Kindred Spirit || Why Bother? || Loss of Control || Lonely Girl || Loss of a Dream || Damaged || Done|| Excision  || Missing You || Jhada|| Hope ||  Reflection ||  History Repeating

TIRADES:

Sucky Movies || Relationships || Marriage || Shortcomings || Parents || Monstrous Brats || Barbie's Newest Trauma || Babies in Trashcans || Religion || Listening || Public Facilities || Choices...|| Grieving || Legalize Prostitution ||  Sports VS Public Service || Y2K || Abortion || To Buffy, or not to Buffy? || Enough with the HATE Already! || Christmas|| Valentine's Day || Love in the 90's || The Big Trenchcoat Freakout || Keeping Up Appearances || Presidential Scourge || Legislating Safety || Anti-drug commercials || Dating || Annoying Anonymity || America West || The Great Bug Debacle || Smoking || Anthrax, anthrax, anthrax || The USA Patriot Act