A long time ago, in a civilization far, far away, marriage was regarded as a vow of utmost importance. It was an earthshaking thing, to proclaim your love for only one person, forsaking all others. Humans, being rather non-manogamous creatures (if you don't think this is the case, just look at this country's divorce rate...) usually don't lock into life with one person for eternity. Sure, you'd like to think that's this is the case at the onset of any feelings you have and subsequent proposals you may receive, but most of the time, it just doesn't work out. There are, of course, those rare occasions when two people realize they want to spend the rest of their lives together, and they take the vows, and do their best to stick to them, whatever may come in the future. 

Now, it seems, we have become a species of relational deadbeats, needing guidance from books and other resources to maintain our love and romance. Everybody's looking for the "quick fix" or "easy answer" to all of life's problems so they can quickly start to expunge or repair the part of their life that is perceived as defective. Instead of patiently waiting to see how you really do feel about one another, marriage is rushed into far too quickly, without taking into account all of the pertinent data that goes into making a lifelong commitment work. And it is work, lemme tellya...This is NOT something to be taken lightly...but it's not something that you should have to toil endlessly over either. If it's not working, and you're trying your damndest to get your man to stay with you, maybe it's time to call it a night and move on. If, however, you have the random problem here and there, I wouldn't exactly call the whole thing off. Being in a relationship means being the very closest, best friend that you can possibly be for the one you love. Be reliable. Be dependable. But most of all...be THERE. That should come first, not sex. Although, sex is a rather large part of a physical/romantic relationship, it should not be the ONLY thing that is of value between the two of you. 

The puritannical bullshit that religious buttheads (don't get me wrong, all religious folks aren't buttheads...just the ones that think they have the right to butt in and tell you how you should lead your life.) spread around about "no sex before marriage" is detrimental, in my opinion. It railroads young couples into a union that they may not be quite ready for. Divorce is nasty, and even friendly partings can be painful as you legally divide everything you own between the two of you, not to mention the possibility of deciding who the children stay with, if you've had any. Take time to find out as much as you can about your chosen partner, and let them find out about you. Personally, I think that any engagement should be drawn out at least six months to a year...If the both of you can be patient enough to make it through the duration without killing each other or cheating, then marriage is probably for you. If not, don't see it as a waste of time, see it as a learning experience for the next person who comes into your life. Remember the things that didn't work, and learn from communication. We all reach out to others for companionship and love. It would truly be a pity if we became a planet full of bitter bitchy assholes that slapped away every chance encounter with love they had because of the past...There's far too much of that already. If you don't think so, just watch Jerry Springer, or Ricki Lake. It's become a national pasttime to watch couples air their dirty laundry in public...but that's another topic, for another time... 
 

FICTION:

Jhada and Argent || The Model and the Mad Scientist || Gabriel || An Unlikely Pairing || The Worst Porno Story Ever

POETRY:

No Longer Angry || Depression || Run with the Moon || Love is a Virus || BloodDance || Diamanda || Murderer || The Watcher || Confusion || Dream || Romeo is Bleeding || Cribdeath || HoPeLeSs || Soulmate || Darling || Illuminate || Madness || Insecurity || Fear || Angel || The Job || Pathetic || Shard of Hate || Thin || Departure of Friends || Empty Life || Kindred Spirit || Why Bother? || Loss of Control || Lonely Girl || Loss of a Dream || Damaged || Done|| Excision  || Missing You || Jhada|| Hope ||  Reflection ||  History Repeating

TIRADES:

Sucky Movies || Relationships || Marriage || Shortcomings || Parents || Monstrous Brats || Barbie's Newest Trauma || Babies in Trashcans || Religion || Listening || Public Facilities || Choices...Grieving || Legalize Prostitution ||  Sports VS Public Service || Y2K || Abortion || To Buffy, or not to Buffy? || Enough with the HATE Already! || Christmas || Valentine's Day || Love in the 90's || The Big Trenchcoat Freakout || Keeping Up Appearances || Presidential Scourge|| Legislating Safety || Anti-drug commercials || Dating || Annoying Anonymity || America West || The Great Bug Debacle || Smoking || Anthrax, anthrax, anthrax || The USA Patriot Act