Valentine's Day. It's right around the corner, and I can hear it's little innocent annoying feet stomping it's way around me, for another year, yet again...but wait! That's not the case anymore...Now that I have a Secret Agent Lover Man to call my very own, I no longer have to dread this holiday...or do I? 

Year after year, I'd dread the passing of the "Angel of Valentine Death", because I'd always be sitting at home all alone, pining for "The One" that would make all my dreams come true. 

And every year, I'd try to play it off, saying offhandedly "What tripe! Once a year, your man/woman/genderless SO has to forage around for heart-shaped boxes of crappy candy, flowers, cutesy bear type things or generic pink or red stuffed animals. This is a declaration of LOVE? I think not..." But all along, I'd secretly think "But wouldn't it be nice if I had somebody to do that for me?" I'd become a bitter, haggard old woman far before my time to do so, and poke and prod at the happiness of others during this "festive" occasion, trying to pull them into my web of misery. I guess I never fancied myself as much of a romantic... Even though I surprise myself at times. 

I'm finding myself wondering aloud what this year will present in the way of Valentine faire, knowing full well that my Secret Agent Lover Man avidly reads ANYTHING new I put up on this site. (which makes me MORE than happy, BTW - I'd rather be involved with somebody that thinks my work is intensely groovy as opposed to "not interesting enough to bother keeping up with") Not that this is intended to stimulate an overly romantic reaction from him, mind you. This is still a public forum where I can bitch about anything I damn well want, and will continue to do until I'm stone cold dead and in an urn or an ashtray in somebody's parlour somewhere... 

What's the fascination? I never understood it...Pink annoys the hell out of me, as a color, and all those damn stuffed animals make me wanna start violently breaking into the shardlike strains of "Unclean" by my hero Diamanda Galas. And, admittedly, the little "red devil" type stuffed animals are kinda cute...but only if they're interesting animals that you don't usually see, like Devil Puffins, or Devil Hedgehogs. I was never one for frilly girly type things. I rather like gruesome artifacts, skeletal bits, skulls, and pretty much anything of a creepy or Halloweenie type nature. Even though this is the case, I know that I'm going to start seeing desks full of flowers with cute little notes on them once it really gets in swing, and feel little pangs of jealousy...Why is this? I don't want flowers, really...just the thing they represent - somebody that loves you and cares enough to show you by sending you dead things arranged in a pleasing manner. Why can't somebody send me a HUGE maneating Venus Flytrap plant, like the one that the creepy family that lived next to the Flinstones used to have? Now, that'd be keen! 

Sidenote: I never thought of myself as much of a "sap monster" until recently. It's both alarming and dismaying... (but oddly reassuring at the same time) I guess you never know until you find the person you want to spend the majority of your time being sappy with. Hopefully I'll be able to balance the sap with large amounts of creepiness. At least then I won't feel like I'm about to lose all of my teeth...
 

FICTION:

Jhada and Argent || The Model and the Mad Scientist || Gabriel || An Unlikely Pairing || The Worst Porno Story Ever

POETRY:

No Longer Angry || Depression || Run with the Moon || Love is a Virus || BloodDance || Diamanda || Murderer || The Watcher || Confusion || Dream || Romeo is Bleeding || Cribdeath || HoPeLeSs || Soulmate || Darling || Illuminate || Madness || Insecurity || Fear || Angel || The Job || Pathetic || Shard of Hate || Thin || Departure of Friends || Empty Life || Kindred Spirit || Why Bother? || Loss of Control || Lonely Girl || Loss of a Dream || Damaged || Done|| Excision  || Missing You || Jhada|| Hope ||  Reflection ||  History Repeating

TIRADES:

Sucky Movies || Relationships || Marriage || Shortcomings || Parents || Monstrous Brats || Barbie's Newest Trauma || Babies in Trashcans || Religion || Listening || Public Facilities || Choices...|| Grieving || Legalize Prostitution ||  Sports VS Public Service || Y2K || Abortion || To Buffy, or not to Buffy? || Enough with the HATE Already! || Christmas|| Valentine's Day || Love in the 90's || The Big Trenchcoat Freakout || Keeping Up Appearances || Presidential Scourge|| Legislating Safety || Anti-drug commercials || Dating || Annoying Anonymity || America West || The Great Bug Debacle || Smoking || Anthrax, anthrax, anthrax || The USA Patriot Act